


There's No Way Around It

by dayofthephoenix



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Ending, Angst, Depression, Infidelity, M/M, Punk, band au, eruri - Freeform, inner conflict, lost control, tragic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-30
Updated: 2014-11-07
Packaged: 2018-02-23 06:26:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2537558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dayofthephoenix/pseuds/dayofthephoenix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the film Control about Joy Division. Levi is a 20 year old punk that takes life in too fast and disregards the consequences. He gets married too early and figures it out too late. He joins a band for the hell of it and doesn't realize how much it takes out of him. He takes refuge in drugs and alcohol, and eventually in a blond, blue eyed journalist. He yearns to keep everyone around him happy, even at his own expense. He needs to face reality but instead runs away from it...losing himself in the pursuit of "unknown pleasures."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Forced by the pressure,  
> The territories marked,  
> No longer the pleasure,  
> Oh, I've since lost the heart.
> 
> -Candidate, Joy Division
> 
> *By the way, the story takes place in '70s UK so try saying the beginning quote with a British accent ;)

“You're a twat, you're a bastard!” Levi's hand was pressed on the table, his eyes bulging out at the dark haired man with a small mustache and chin stubble.

“Oh yeah? And why is that?”

“Because you haven't put us on the television yet.”

Eren gripped Levi's shirt from behind, pulling him away from the man at the table. Levi had already had too much whiskey and Eren didn't want to take any chances, especially since Levi had been talking to Nile Dok, the director of the music broadcasting channel. If their band played its cards right, they could easily be next in line to play in front of the studio cameras and be broadcast on televisions across the country.

He threw Levi into the booth where the rest of the band was still having drinks. Armin had a concerned look on his face and Mikasa looked annoyed as hell.

“Glad you brought him back,” she said unamused. Levi slumped against the seat for a moment before slamming his head on the table. Eren sat down next to him and chuckled.

“Fucking drunk ass, one day his big mouth is going to get us the kind of publicity we don't want,” Eren said. He took a few gulps of his drink and sighed.

Suddenly, they heard the sound of someone clearing their throat loudly beside them. “Ahem.” Mikasa, Armin, and Eren turned their heads and saw Nile standing there. He had a serious look on his face, the kind that meant business.

“I'd like if you wrote your band's name down for me, so that I don't forget,” his dark eyes piercing with severity.

The three nodded silently, not knowing how to respond. Nile's eyebrows furrowed and he nodded at them in a gesture of respect. Then just like that, he left and went back to his table. They looked at each other in shock and then at Levi who was still motionless in the corner. They had just gotten the stroke of luck that they needed and it was all thanks to Levi's belligerence. They would thank him later.

A half hour passed, then after leaving cash on the table and Eren hauling Levi to his feet, they headed out of the bar. Armin left a folded piece of paper on Nile Dok's table, it read _The Void_.

Petra was waiting on the sofa when Levi got home. She had a book in one hand and the other hand over her bulging stomach – it was starting to show now. Levi hung his trench coat on the hanger and gave her a smile, his cheeks flushed red from drunkenness. He went upstairs and passed out on the bed without a word.

Ever since Levi joined the band everything had changed. He used to have a full time job at the employment office, he used to come home every night, and he used to pay attention to his wife. Now Petra was home alone most of the time, trying desperately to prepare for the baby that was coming. She remembered the first time Levi had suggested they have a child. It was a few months after he joined the band and they were trying to earn money to pay for a studio recording. Petra gave him her entire savings to help; it didn't bother her at all. She believed in him. He had been so optimistic then, and she wanted him to be happy. But when she told him that she was pregnant, his reaction was not what she expected.

He slowly withdrew from her, disappearing every night and coming home drunk or not at all. He used to let her read the lyrics that he wrote but now he locked himself up in the second bedroom and never answered when she knocked. He still said that he loved her, and everyone in the band assured her that he wasn't cheating on her. Petra couldn't understand what was going through her husband's mind. She imagined he must be scared about the baby and stressed out with the band. All she could do is hope that it would pass. She did her best to brush it off and to maintain a happy face whenever he came home. She supported him ceaselessly through all of his endeavors with _The Void._ She attended most of the concerts. On the night that the band premiered on the television, she was watching at home proudly.

***

“And we'll have all rights to our band's name and everything that goes with it?” Mikasa asked.

“I'll sign it in my own blood,” declared Nile as he walked with the band down the street. He was offering them a contract with Gaia records, actually begging them. They walked into the bar and sat down to sign the contract. Nile poked his finger and slowly drew out the band member's names on the paper. They watched him with amusement, trying to hold back laughter. Meanwhile, they ordered a tall pitcher of beer to share. Nile slid the documents across the table for them to look over.

“You spelled our guitarist's name wrong,” said Armin.

“That's a bad reflection on our band, don't ya think?” said Levi.

Nile lay limp against the cushion of the seat, he groaned as Levi handed the paper back to him. He had spelled the Jaeger boy's name wrong. _Jeager._ He shakily poked his finger again and started crossing out his mistake. The band couldn't help but laugh. They clinked their mugs together and threw back huge gulps of the bubbly golden liquid. By the time Nile was finished, he was about ready to faint. Eren pushed a mug at his face and told him to drink.

The next week was the band's first big gig. Their past shows had been packed with people, excited to see a band they had never heard of. But this one was different, their name was really known now, and the big letters outside the venue proved it. Petra couldn't make it to the show, the growing baby inside of her made her too tired to go anywhere. Besides, the last time she came Levi wasn't happy about it. He didn't want her walking around in her condition, it was bad for the baby. Even though he was anxious about the child, Levi still cared about Petra's health.

 _The Void_ played five loud and intense songs -- Levi sang his passion into the microphone, Mikasa on the bass, Eren on guitar, and Armin behind the drums. The crowd went wild for them. They jumped up and down and some, their old followers, even sang along to the songs. After the show was over, the band retreated to the back lounge to smoke cigarettes and chat with eager fans. Levi disappeared for awhile, going into the hallway to use the pay phone. It was late and he wanted to tell Petra that we wouldn't make it home that night. He didn't want her to stay awake waiting up for him.

“Petra.”

“How was the show?”

“Oh, it was great.”

“When are you coming home?”

“I'm going to be here with the band for awhile, probably do some interviews –-”

“Oh ok.”

“How are you doing?”

“I'm fine, Levi.”

Nile appeared in the hallway with a tall blond man. He had blue eyes, a shaggy undercut, and a brown messenger bag slung across his chest. Nile glanced at Levi as he spoke to him.

“Ok well I have to go now,” said Levi.

“I love you.”

Levi hung up the phone just as Nile came up to him.

“Levi!” Nile slapped a hand on his shoulder.

“Who's that?” Levi asked, looking at the blond guy who watched them with an innocent smile.

“Oh he's from some magazine, says he would like an interview.”

“What's his name?”

“Erwin.”

“Ah, well have him come with us back to the hotel.”

 

Levi tried to ignore the thought of Petra at home as he downed a shot of vodka in Nile's hotel suite. Everyone was gathered on the sofas talking about how awesome the show had been. Nile sat on the opposite side, conversing with Erwin. Levi was too lost in his thoughts to join in any conversation. He wasn't as thrilled as everyone else was and he didn't know why. He thought that once the band made it big he would feel more enthusiastic about it all but that wasn't the case. It was cool how everything was going so well for them, but he felt a pit of dread in his stomach. His life wasn't making him feel the way he wanted to feel. He felt empty and unsatisfied. He took a drag of his cigarette and blew out a huge puff of smoke. It had been a long time since Levi felt anything at all.

“So do you guys like the Dropkix?” Erwin asked with a notepad in his lap.

“Eh they're all right,” said Eren, resting an arm on the edge of the couch.

“I like them,” Armin said.

“Yeah, well they are attention whores, those two,” said Mikasa. “Wait, don't write that down!”

Erwin smiled, he hadn't picked up his pen once. “I know this is going to sound cheesy, but the fans want to know, do you guys believe in love?”

“We believe in sex,” said Eren a little too loud. Armin burst out laughing and Mikasa shook her head. Erwin glanced over at Levi, who was looking the other way with a slight grin.

“What about you?” he asked Levi.

Levi bit his lip and answered, “I don't know.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone know the Dropkix? It's an allusion to another anime...let me know if you know what I'm talking about ;)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter begins with a flashback, delving a bit into Levi and Petra's history. Then we return to the scene in Nile's hotel suite. Levi has an inexplicable urge to spill his guts out to Erwin Smith.

He leaned against the wall outside of the venue, pulled out a lighter from his trench coat pocket, and waited. Groups of teenagers started pouring in through the doors. Everyone was excited to hear the new band play. The singer was supposed to be an extremely energetic girl from the poor side of London.

Levi was smoking his cigarette when he heard a voice call out his name. It was Petra. She wore a white jacket and most of her strawberry blonde hair was tucked underneath a beanie. She had a thick green scarf wrapped around her neck that complimented the color of her eyes. Levi thought she looked beautiful, as always. He put out his cigarette and wrapped an arm around her shoulder as they went inside.

They watched the show in silence for the most part, standing close while the rest of the audience danced and hollered. Levi didn’t know what to say and neither did Petra. It was the first time they were alone together. Tom was always there.

“It’s a shame Tom couldn’t come,” Petra remarked. Her voice was so low that Levi barely caught it through the sounds booming from the speakers. He suddenly remembered Tom, his friend, who he hadn’t told about the concert.

“He said I could go out with you, as long as I looked after you.”

Petra smiled, “I don’t really need to be looked after, do I?”

“I didn’t want you to think we were going behind his back or anything.”

They stared into each other’s eyes, slowly getting closer, then they kissed.

***

Levi rested his head against the sofa and listened to Erwin’s voice wrapping up the interview. Mikasa, Eren, and Armin were getting too drunk to answer anything seriously. Nile wasn’t even paying attention anymore, he was occupied talking with some woman in the kitchen.

Eren was about ready to pass out, so Erwin got up from the couch he was sitting on and let him lay down on it. Levi was brought out of his stupor when he noticed the man sitting beside him.

Levi looked at him curiously but didn’t say anything. The blond was smiling at him. _What is with this guy?_

“I notice you’re not one for talking, I didn’t get much out of you in the interview,” Erwin said, still smiling.

“I’m not one for interviews,” replied Levi, “I think they’re full of bullshit. Our words get twisted around anyway.”

He turned his attention toward Mikasa, who was trying to get Eren to straighten out his legs on the sofa. Eren wasn’t cooperating and groaning like a child. His attention was drawn back to the man next to him when he heard his laughter.  _You thought that was funny?_ No one had ever laughed at his snide remarks before. 

“So is this your full time job? A journalist?” Levi suddenly felt a tad bit interested in this man.

“Eh no, I work at the embassy. I only do this on the side.”

“For fun?”

“Yes, for fun.” Erwin smiled.

Levi set his glass down on the table. He surprisingly felt entertained. He wanted to know more about this “Erwin” who popped out of nowhere. _This guy is really something._

“So when did you hear about us?” he asked.

“I’ve been following you guys for a while now, ever since you played in Manchester.”

_That was the first show after I joined the band._

“A friend of mine dragged me to your show one night and I was hooked. Your sound is amazing, especially the bass.”

“You can thank Mikasa for that.”

“What about you, Levi? Have you been in this band from the start?” Erwin took a sip of whiskey and picked up a cigarette.

“I joined last year. They were already a group but they needed a vocalist.”

“What made you join, if I may ask?” Erwin completely turned his body to face Levi and crossed a leg over his knee.

“This isn’t going in your interview is it?” Levi suddenly felt self conscious with the man’s full attention on him.

Erwin gave him a reassuring smile, “Of course not.”

Levi ended up telling this man more than he thought he would. He told him how he wanted to know what it felt like to be up on stage, singing your heart out in front of wild fans. He had always loved music and when he was younger, he would lock himself up in his room and drown his ears in the sound coming from his record player. His parents didn’t like the music that he listened to, but he didn’t care. It made him want to rebel even more, that’s why he decided to be in the band.

They discussed their music tastes and found that they were very alike. Erwin identified with Levi in that his parents didn’t approve of his music either. He used to go to concerts in secret with his friends. Erwin had always been fascinated by the drums -- how their continuous beats formed the back bone of every great song. He learned how to play them and eventually bought a drum set of his own.

“I bought it with my first paycheck after I moved into my apartment,” Erwin said.

_This guy is insane._

“That’s why I took the office job, it wasn’t my thing but I knew that it would give me support for all my other interests.”

Levi had a nine to five job before, but he quit it. He worked at the employment bureau when he and Petra had first gotten married. The job was simple and he liked it, but after he joined the band, the two started conflicting. The late night concerts didn’t allow him much rest before getting up for work early in the morning. His boss noticed when he started dozing off at his desk and advised him to rethink his priorities. Petra wasn’t angry with him when he quit, but then again she was never angry. Levi made the choice on his own, picking the thrill of being in a band over a secure income. He didn’t think it was a big deal at the time, until Petra told him that she was pregnant. He tried not to think about it; the stress of the new baby and the pressure of money was too much for him. The Void’s new album was all he could hope for.

“Levi, I heard you have a wife. How is she doing?”

“Oh, she’s ok.” He really did not want to talk about it.

“What’s it like? You were married so young…”

Levi was silent for awhile. “My marriage was a mistake.”

Erwin didn’t know how to respond. He took another sip of his drink and stared into space. Levi did the same, then he looked over at him.

They stared at each other like that. Erwin’s eyes were filled with sympathy and concern; Levi’s were filled with anxiety and need. He needed someone right now, to tell him that everything was going to be all right. He felt like everything was getting out of hand, beyond his control. Levi’s entire being begged for comfort and for some reason, he felt like Erwin was the person that could give it to him. He couldn’t explain it to himself but Erwin seemed like the one he had been looking for. 


End file.
